My Self-Help Journey and what it taught me

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I've always prided myself on being an avid reader. Ever since I can remember, I have had way more books than friends (a proposition that has only grown stronger with time, as I have managed to attract more books and not more people in life). It gave me immense satisfaction when the school churned out certificates of meritorious students in the class and I ended up receiving the certificates of being 'an avid reader' or the one for 'best handwriting' (I know I am a nerd).

(Photo credit: Pixabay)

But ego and self-perception aside, every bibliophile goes through experimentation with other genres. You may start off with Noddy or Famous Five and Secret Seven and Anne of Green Gables but eventually you venture off and go into other areas such as non-fiction, young adult, sci-fi or magic realism. Whatever floats your boat.

And that's exactly what I went through. For me, it happened to be Self – help. Self – help found me at a time when it finds most people – when you're feeling clueless about life. The phase when you find your conscience stranded amidst a sea of conflicting moral principles and life-altering choices is when you become desperate for answers. You surrender completely and devour that book which you believe can solve your problems or at the very least, take you to the place where you may find answers or happiness.

(Photo credit: Pixabay)

My own observation when it comes to reading self-help book has been an eye-opener for me. This might open the floodgates to a lot of criticism but reading self-help books never actually helped me "attain my goals" but I ended up learning a great deal about myself.

Reading always brought me closer to peace. It took my mind to a simple pleasure of being happy. Upon discovering self-help, reading became utilitarian. My mind started to reject absolutely anything that had absence of utility. I started to believe that reading self-help would lead me to the right mindset, the right habits, the right decisions and eventually, the desired outcome. My horse vision was thus propelled by this kind of reading.

Don't get me wrong. In no way am I suggesting that the self-help industry is bad. I'd like to believe it's helping a lot of people. It's just not for me. I've come to realize that self-help does not necessarily make you a better version of yourself but definitely makes you feel like you are. You come across something motivational, it is reflected in your work. Once its effect wears off, you're back for more.

When you start to look for quick-fix answers, you go to Google. When you start to look for the exact way to navigate your life without making mistakes, you opt for self-help. YouTube has made these opinions all the more accessible. By way of podcasts or short form content such as reels, we are now flooded with such ideas day in and day out. It does nothing but create an echo chamber when we only focus on jargon like 'hustle culture', 'productivity' and 'success'.

(Photo credit: Pixabay)

This post is supposed to be nothing but a long rant (like most of my writings). After this particular realization, I have now made a commitment to myself to stop looking for my life's answers from others. I am happy to embrace the failures that come my way. I hope to stop consuming the self-help spiral and channel my energies in doing my best.

After a long time, I dusted off one of Jeffrey Archer's Clifton Chronicles that was abandoned midway for... you guessed it, another self-help book. It felt so good to read for pleasure. I finally got peace from doing what reading was intended for – leisure. I felt after a long time that I deserved it.

This is my way of telling you, Dear Reader, that I am abandoning Adam Smith's concept of productivity for Bertrand Russel's proposition of Idleness. I do hope more people embrace the quiet and solitude that come with leisure and give their quest for "success" a little rest.



Till next time! Cheers!

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