Perfectionism - The Grave You Dig for Yourself

We've all done it. We have walked into interviews with our scalp cleaner than it has ever been and our armpits smelling rather fresh for a change, wearing a shirt so crisply pressed that would make our neighbourhood's nosy aunties look twice. We have done it all for that one fleeting moment of self-satisfaction when we are faced with that inevitable question:

Tell me about your weakness.

With an almost rehearsed precision, the answer escapes our mouth before we've even had time to evaluate it.

'Oh I would say, I am too much of a perfectionist'

Yes, perfectionism today is looked up to by everyone in our surrounding. We have been led to believe that perfectionism is the one quality we must embody (basically because that is what was said by our parents, teachers, neighbours, bosses, colleagues and that one weird friend who designs dreamcatchers in his spare time.)

For many people, being perfect the whole time in all aspects of their life is not only exhausting but rather harmful in the long run. Being perfect means that there is a little voice inside their head (which sounds an awful lot like their mother's) that tells them that they're not where they ought to be, that they can do a lot better.

Progress is one thing. Through constant evaluation, you raise yourself to a standard where you are not sobbing in the shower. It is a wonderful path of improvement that is associated with gradual improvement and instils in you a feeling of self-worth. With perfectionist tendencies, it does the exact opposite.

In our quest to attain perfection, we find ourselves in a comfy little pool of hell – it's called Procrastinator's Paradise where the thought of accomplishing anything is so cripplingly overwhelming that we are left with stale nachos and an overly expensive Netflix subscription and still no work done. It is not a happy place 😩

Not just that, in order to bring everything to utmost perfection, we create unrealistic standards for ourselves and rather than holding ourselves to a workable high standard, we just set ourselves up for failure and the eventual self-abuse laden with and extra helping of soy sauce. When it comes to the worst, one's proclivity towards perfectionism can lead to self-abuse.

Many studies (that I haven't bothered reading) show that perfectionist disposition leads to burnout, stress, anxiety and other serious mental illnesses. At the end of the day, perfectionist tendencies could be self-inflicted or could be a result of social pressure. Whichever it may be, it is inadvertently linked to self-abuse.

HOW TO GET OUT OF IT

Simple: Don't be a goddamn perfectionist 

Forgiving oneself is the gateway to self-love. I know that sounds generic and lame but it's true. It is easy to forgive others because you forget about it after a while. Self-criticism on the other hand is much more difficult to run from. You need to constantly remind yourself that you are allowed to make mistakes. Don't be a moron and go on repeating them. The point is to remember that you are allowed to make mistakes and then set yourself right. Set a reminder of it or get a tattoo. But remember it.

A parting word – take criticism well. Control your default setting of punching the other person and hearing out the constructive criticism they put forth. Never strive to be a perfectionist and obviously don't call yourself one in general.